Random Musings – Guy I Like

There’s this guy I like because he makes my heart race and that happens so rarely. 

I’m afraid…

Fuck! If I’m afraid this shit won’t work. 

Dear Guy I Like,

Here’s my freak flag. I didn’t have time to wrap it. If you like it, yay! If you don’t….::sad panda::

Being someone you’re not for a feeling may seem like the most appealing path. It’s an exhausting waste of time in the long run. 

Random Musings – Thoughts

People say actions, not thoughts, define you. I think they confuse thoughts with words. Actions and words are products of thoughts. 

The silent disdain for a homeless person. The wish that your bank account wasn’t at 0 so you could buy that person gas. Wondering what the rape victim was wearing. Being happy about your kid’s award when your life is going to shit. 

No one will ever love me. 

Yeah. My money’s on thoughts for the definition win. 

The End

This won’t work. I can’t open up to you 

But then I don’t really want to

I’m so tired of being afraid they’ll see

All the dark inky parts of me

Bats fly out through unzipped skin

Never to fly back in again 

Squeaky clean becomes the closet

Now what shall we deposit?

But then again what’s left of me?

All the things I still can’t see

So just for a while I’ll try to pretend

For soon enough we come to the end…

Random Musings

I have terrible confidence issues. Or anxiety. Or whatever the label is these days. And then I don’t because….I’m…complicated.

You see I’m terrified of not liking someone back. As if me not liking them back would somehow be the end of their house of cards style world because…honestly…I’m seriously important.  Who could live without me? Really?

Everyone.

And here in the middle of the road (where we play in traffic) I need to learn that I’m awesome AND not everyone returns feelings. Indeed…it is a rare thing to be cherished but not relied upon. The love we need most is the love we give ourselves.

Book

Bind me in the softest leather 

Tightly to keep me together 

Be sure to mark your favorite places 

In among my weathered pages

Learn my stories, feel the words

Especially those unheard

And though you know I am not new

My cover is removed just for you

Lose yourself inside my leaves

And come together in sweet release 

Tease

Tease
She’s a thief of time and attention

Eyes mysterious smile delirious

Full lips beg to be kissed

Full breasts you can’t miss

Aware of every move

Commanding lust not love

Dance with just a touch

Fingertips to hush

Leave you wanting more

But she’s not your whore

Any lingering contact

Does not require a contract

She loves to put on a show

That ends when she goes home

Very few can feed

Her deeper need

She does love to please

But for now she’s just a tease

Meet Damien (Read at Your Own Risk)

I post here periodically when I have a new poem to share and I get noticed which is amazing. Sadly my writing comes in very short bursts like the occasional broken water line. I try to function within the ordances of a broken government most of the time I guess. It makes my momentary inspirational moments seem more like malfunctions. That needs to change. I have a few readers and maybe one of them will point me in the right direction. I need a reading community to critique my work so I can formerly submit it for publication. Obviously I am willing to reciprocate. Below is the seventy-five hundred word short story that started it all. I wrote it from the point of view of a girl, but I was so intrigued by the creature (for lack of a better word) that I kept writing. I have a whole world now that includes one “finished” book, one that is almost finished, and plans for 8 more books. I need my tribe though.

Beware. It is dark erotica and definitely not for the young or fragile (emotionally or otherwise).

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