To Write or not to Write

I got the kind of news on thanksgiving day that you keep thinking you’re going to wake up to find it was just a bad dream. Mostly. I knew the possibility of it all. It shouldn’t come as a shock, but when it happens to someone you love very dearly, someone who affects so much of your life, it’s hard to get out of that denial.

Now it colors every aspect of my thoughts and I’m not sure what to write about.

If this was just a diary I would write any drivel that seeps across my addled brain. I’m kind of glad I have an audience…however small. It discourages me from wallowing in my own self pity. It still makes interesting topics difficult however.

So the answer is…write. That’s always the answer. No matter what. Write.

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Kintsugi

Kintsugi
She held her pieces in her hands

The way that only broken can

Looking up with pleading eyes

“Help me make it through the night”

When the last one broke her tether

She put herself back together

Looking in with beauty bold

She painted in the cracks with gold

Learning not to be afraid

Understanding what life has made

She holds herself in her hands

And no one needs to understand

Break

Break

She’s just a girl

No need to fear

Yet somehow unsure

You shy away from here

She’s no monster

That would make sense

Humans are cruel

They stand on pretense

Can’t find connection

Then they wipe out

Yet in their darkness

They have their doubt

Seeking forgiveness

A place to belong

The world crashing down

It won’t be long

Now looking at her

Something is wrong

Here in the middle

She doesn’t belong

You know what it is

Crushed under the weight

She does not need

And she won’t break

Pretend

Pretend

Sometimes I find I want to say
I’m so alone inside my head
But people go about their day
So I’ll pretend that I am dead
But every now and just again
When my brain won’t cooperate
I would like a silent friend
To sit with me through my hate
Listen to the things I cannot say
Without advice or sympathy
And if I reach my hand their way
Take it with soft empathy
Bravely sit inside my dark
As I try to find my light
Though it’s only one more mark
That I’ll make it through this night
And when the new day does begin
Gone the dark of night before
Pretend that nothing happened friend
So I won’t pretend alone anymore