Cheating

I’m cheating. Season 12 of Diablo 3 came out and I’ve been enjoying my “free” time there. So I slacked on writing. You get a story I wrote a while ago. This story involves consensual non-consent. Sometimes that means what I have with my boyfriend: he can do anything he wants to me any time without discussing it first. I can ALWAYS call “red”, but it would take a lot. We have this arrangement because I trust him in a way I’ve never trusted anyone before. In the case of the following story it is what some might call fulfilling a rape fantasy. I don’t like calling it that because its not rape….consent is involved (red will always stop a scenario no matter what) even if it walks a fine edge. If this isn’t your thing move on. If it is….enjoy.

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Awake

A few years ago I was standing at a reunion of a family that was mostly not mine. I wore capris jeans with frayed holes in them and became the subject of conversation with a preacher. The standard joke: “I just threw away a pair of jeans like that. Should have had you pay me a hundred bucks for them.” He also asked me why I would want to scar my body in reference to my tattoo. I tried to tell him they were free, but he was far to amused with himself. Honestly it should matter. Petty shit like that from “Christians” made me give up on being spiritually awakened.

At one point I decided I rocked those goddamn jeans and I’d rather be sexually awakened then whatever the fuck they thought they were. These days though I just want to….be. If someone wanted to comment on my jeans (still have them) I wouldn’t care. I honestly don’t understand why they would. It’s just clothing. Here…let me take it off if that helps ::evil grin::

When you are comfortable with who and what you are the “slings and arrows” of society stop bothering you. You don’t get pissed because someone attacks your beliefs or style. You certainly don’t get pissed if someone believes differently than you…even if it’s really fucked up. Difference becomes interesting.

This, I feel, is awake.

My First Scene

I’ve always had this fantasy of being tied and forced to orgasm long past the point of pleasure. For a long time I thought it was because I was a total freak. It turns out I’m normal in certain circles. A few months ago I gathered up my courage and went to a meeting point of one of those circles. Life hasn’t been the same sense. Tonight you get the story of my first scene.

I met a guy. He’s a sadist, though only because he gets pleasure from being on the top side of the slash. He takes nothing if his bottom isn’t enjoying it. I am a bottom because I thoroughly enjoy being on the receiving end. Marks make me giddy. I may very well be the yin to his yang. I don’t know that I can mark myself a masochist anymore. I am not a fan of pain at all, but I’m nearly addicted to the feeling of flying that hits you immediately after the pain subsides. The greater the pain the higher the feeling, and so I yearn to be able to take more. For now I’m only beginning.

My first scene starts in a dark corner with a fair bit of teasing while watching a small group converse at a picnic table.  He whispers in my ear “do you want to try a little playing?” I indicate my desire and he leads me through the house to a front room a little away from everyone. He likes to be very public, but I’m still not quite there yet.

There are two crosses here; large X’s standing silently against a white wall. On the other wall is a small table with a radio playing the kind of music I love. If I knew nothing else about this group their taste in music would have made it for me. I stay there while he goes to grab his toy bag. There are so many words that will never mean the same to me again.

I’m nervous which I love. He takes out a pair of cuffs and secures them on my wrist before slipping off my dress. Leaving me only in my panties he locks my wrist to chains at the top of each side of one of the X’s. My first sensation is a pair of clothes pins attached to my nipples. They sting. I’m getting a little ache between my thighs thinking about it now. He starts with a light flogger made of wide soft leather. It’s more thuddy than stingy. I get remember all the toys he used on me now. Eventually he used a heavy piece of leather on my ass that left the most beautiful bruises. This is almost my favorite part.

He says he isn’t into playing when his play partner legitimately doesn’t like something and yet….I hate electricity. I’m terrified of it. He has something called a tazapper that doesn’t hurt, but it arcs quite vividly with a loud pop. It’s everything I hate about electricity and he hooked me with my back to the cross and started threatening me with it. I laughed and screamed at the same time. I managed to get my body behind the damn cross which is pretty impressive. I suppose you can honestly say I have a love hate relationship with this particular play.

Eventually I was standing breathless on the cross and he blindfolded me. I thought we were done, but the scene isn’t up to me and I would have it no other way. A collar was snapped around my neck and a leash to that. He led me in just my panties through the house to a chair in the living room. I had to dress while blindfolded.

Scene End

I spent the rest of the night cuddling with him: safe, warm and on cloud nine. I can’t wait to do it again.

Consent 

I always wanted to do “crazy” things. I wanted give a stranger a lap dance, play naked Jenga, and wear something extremely sexy. I didn’t. I don’t as nervous or scared or self concious or….I didn’t. Fuck the reason.

And people pushed. 

One day I found myself at a BDSM club meeting. The very essence of this is sex, in a way, and I was there because there because it was something I wanted. Yet no one pushed. 

And people offered cookies.

Within a few parties I was naked on a cross. And I can’t wait to do it again. There’s something to be said about consent that comes about out of given consent. Not coercion or alcohol induced but something you comfortably do. It’s empowering and and a joy for more than just the person watching. 

I will forever defend a person whether they keep their close on or take them all off. I wish more people realized this. 

Kinky Bites – No Expectations

It’s been interesting here on the gulf coast reminding us that you never know what to expect out of life.  I certainly never expected to wade out of my apartment with two cats and my computer hard drive on my shoulder, but that happened. Thankfully I came back to most everything. I wish everyone had been as lucky. I did get to see the human heart at its finest in the last few weeks however. I know Houston was hit hard, but there’s a little city called Dickinson just up the road from me that was nearly wiped out. My heart aches for them and everyone rebuilding after this disaster.

Now for something a little…tastier. I said I was going to do this every Friday and I meant it.

Exhibitionism is a desire to either be watched or get caught in a sexual act. It’s a fun fetish that is easily indulged.

No Expectations

In a fit of boredom Kayla followed her friend to a swingers club only to find herself immediately regretting it. Sex with random strangers in public was definitely not her scene. That was until she came face to face with a stranger named Jack and his is ocean blue eyes tempting her to step into his world.

Step One

I bet, in few years, I’ll be able to write a book about what not to do when publishing a book. I’m sure I’m gonna make all the mistakes.

But this needs to happen. I’ve only been dreaming about it since….forever.

My idea…

Kinky Bites Volume I

I love writing short stories. I have a few and I’m working on more. I’ve recently  realized they all just happen to revolve around fetishes. There’s more than one book on “my journey down the rabbit hole” and the ABC’s of Kink, but a fetish is more of an experience than a thing. As a writer I can offer that experience without ever having to step into a scene.

My first book, which I’m hoping to publish on October 31st 2017 via Amazon, will be a anthology of short stories that each detail a fetish experience in the “Safe Sane and Consensual” vein that beats at the heart of BDSM. Each will touch on negotiation, focus on experience and end in aftercare. If you’ve ever had a fantasy that you don’t consider “normal” and you just want a taste than this is the book for you.

The first stage of promotion will be to post a blurb for each story every Friday starting September 1st. and ending October 27th. I’m sure I’ll think of more, but every journey starts with the first step.

See you round the rabbit hole.

Random Musings: Who Wouldn’t Want Me

Who wouldn’t want me

But I’m not a cup of tea

Something like honey

 

I want to say he missed out. I want to say how can you not want a girl that would crawl across the floor and suck your cock like she was praying to a god?

Eh…it probably wasn’t that good. It’s been a while. I need to find someone to practice on.

But people click or they don’t. I’ve never been one to console myself with “wow did you miss out”. How can you miss out on something you didn’t want to begin with? It takes a minute to get the soap out of your hair when it burns your eyes though.