She held her pieces in her hands
The way that only broken can
Looking up with pleading eyes
“Help me make it through the night”
When the last one broke her tether
She put herself back together
Looking in with beauty bold
She painted in the cracks with gold
Learning not to be afraid
Understanding what life has made
She holds herself in her hands
And no one needs to understand
Who wouldn’t want me
But I’m not a cup of tea
Something like honey
I want to say he missed out. I want to say how can you not want a girl that would crawl across the floor and suck your cock like she was praying to a god?
Eh…it probably wasn’t that good. It’s been a while. I need to find someone to practice on.
But people click or they don’t. I’ve never been one to console myself with “wow did you miss out”. How can you miss out on something you didn’t want to begin with? It takes a minute to get the soap out of your hair when it burns your eyes though.
I think we know what we want from time to time, but it’s hard to figure out what we need. I find it in the failures. There’s little bits of lesson in there. It’s like stripping the paint off a piece of furniture to find the beauty of the natural wood…especially when there’s a few years of misuse built up.
“What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can’t move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn’t been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won’t be troubling you much longer.”
It is my personal quest to find all the silver linings. I think it’s the bonus points in this game of life.
This won’t work. I can’t open up to you
But then I don’t really want to
I’m so tired of being afraid they’ll see
All the dark inky parts of me
Bats fly out through unzipped skin
Never to fly back in again
Squeaky clean becomes the closet
Now what shall we deposit?
But then again what’s left of me?
All the things I still can’t see
So just for a while I’ll try to pretend
For soon enough we come to the end…
I have terrible confidence issues. Or anxiety. Or whatever the label is these days. And then I don’t because….I’m…complicated.
You see I’m terrified of not liking someone back. As if me not liking them back would somehow be the end of their house of cards style world because…honestly…I’m seriously important. Who could live without me? Really?
And here in the middle of the road (where we play in traffic) I need to learn that I’m awesome AND not everyone returns feelings. Indeed…it is a rare thing to be cherished but not relied upon. The love we need most is the love we give ourselves.
I tell everyone everything
My tongue has no guard, maybe
Because I’m addicted to words
I want to taste them all
But not with you, maybe
Because, for once, I know better
So the words grow
Like dew on a petal
That will soon give way to the weight
I dreamed of you
You’ve never made me cry
But you scare the hell out of me
Your comment on my beauty
Was so much more than flattery
You’re burned into my skin
And it seems the poison went with the pain
I believe you’ll be there forever
And yet I have no reason to
I need to let you go
But it seems I’m content to borrow
You until you’re gone
And, still I don’t cry
My broken heart stirs for you
But you might just be safe, because
You belong to someone else
When Mercury is in retrograde there’s a good chance everything will go wrong.
Yes….yes it does.
It is also a time for introspection. It’s possible these are the times we learn the most about ourselves without even realizing it…if we are open to it.
Feelings are useless
Attachment is not in me
Lies I tell myself