Dark Places

I find myself in dark places

Open worlds and cramped spaces

Fear and lust and sorrow

Dread and hope tomorrow

I search in other faces

I try to walk in their paces

But I lose myself in their lyric

Their ivory towers vampiric

Worshipping painted idols

I see slaves proud of their bridles

I know that I cannot be found

In the grooves of well-traveled ground

To wander is truly the cost

When looking for things that are lost

And in the light I find only traces

But I find myself in dark places


Talking to the Stars

Among the lights where I reside
He grasped the universe within my eyes
The brightness drew him to my side
But in the darkness he saw lies
Fascinated by my wrappings
They only prefaced our descent
Somehow he found me lacking
But he failed to see what I present
There’s always blackness between the stars
There’s always shadow in the day
So much more hides in the dark
But that is where he lost his way
He wasn’t meant to walk with me
And on my own I’ve done so well
It’s not an easy thing you see
And still I find on this I dwell
You’d think with worlds inside of you
It might be easy to be alone
With nothing outside to see me through
I fear at times I’ll come undone
Looking up to my reflection
I’ll ask the bodies time can’t reach
For one proficient in my affection
To navigate this stellar breach
And wonder if the stars are lonely
With so much emptiness around
But I can ever wonder only
While I seem tethered to the ground
Watch me softly heavenly forms
As I grapple with these scars
Finding words outside the norms
My conversations with the stars


I’m cheating. Season 12 of Diablo 3 came out and I’ve been enjoying my “free” time there. So I slacked on writing. You get a story I wrote a while ago. This story involves consensual non-consent. Sometimes that means what I have with my boyfriend: he can do anything he wants to me any time without discussing it first. I can ALWAYS call “red”, but it would take a lot. We have this arrangement because I trust him in a way I’ve never trusted anyone before. In the case of the following story it is what some might call fulfilling a rape fantasy. I don’t like calling it that because its not rape….consent is involved (red will always stop a scenario no matter what) even if it walks a fine edge. If this isn’t your thing move on. If it is….enjoy.

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Pirate Fest

My first thought was to talk about consent with a nod towards the difference between kink and sex which would foreshadow a future post. Then I was going to mention the hardest thing I ever had to except about myself; understanding that actually liking some of the twisted shit that happened to me as a kid does not make it OK for my abusers to have done it. But there…I said it…it doesn’t need a whole post. I realize now that I’m obsessed with sex. Well, I always knew that, but I’m getting older so “rediscovering” things happens a little more often.

Nope…what I’m going to talk about is the fact that I have this huge festival this weekend and I have no clue how I’m going to write at 6:30 every night.  You may get shit like:

I am so drunk it took me at least 20 minutes to fall into that ditch.  And have you seen my shirt?

I have spell check on my phone.

But Piratefest isn’t about drinking…it just happens. It’s actually the gathering of a few close friends that’s blossomed over the last 20 years into a small city temporarily growing in the parking rows of the campgrounds of the Texas Renaissance Festival. It’s pretty amazing. Don’t think of dusty streets, bad costumes and vendors hocking last week’s turkey legs for the cost of a sit down dinner. Imagine, instead, a group of ships moored off a deserted island with so many long boats pushed onto the shore you almost mistake them for a strange brown capped wave. Beyond that are flags and fires and tents that line a road in the sand leading to a make shift bar. There are drums and guitars and some salty bastard commandeered a violin from somewhere. We don’t ask and we most certainly don’t judge. We sing.We tell stories. We sample the spoils of our fellow crews, and revel in the friends we’ve kept along with the friends we’ve made over the last year. There’s a bittersweet scent among the smells of spitted meat and fine rum because we know it will end far to soon. All truly wonderful things have that pall, but we wouldn’t trade it for anything. So heave ho and hoist the colors high my friends, for never shall we die.

Pirate Strong

bleeding maiden


Meet Damien (Read at Your Own Risk)

I post here periodically when I have a new poem to share and I get noticed which is amazing. Sadly my writing comes in very short bursts like the occasional broken water line. I try to function within the ordances of a broken government most of the time I guess. It makes my momentary inspirational moments seem more like malfunctions. That needs to change. I have a few readers and maybe one of them will point me in the right direction. I need a reading community to critique my work so I can formerly submit it for publication. Obviously I am willing to reciprocate. Below is the seventy-five hundred word short story that started it all. I wrote it from the point of view of a girl, but I was so intrigued by the creature (for lack of a better word) that I kept writing. I have a whole world now that includes one “finished” book, one that is almost finished, and plans for 8 more books. I need my tribe though.

Beware. It is dark erotica and definitely not for the young or fragile (emotionally or otherwise).

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The Storm

Attempting to rewrite my life..

The Storm

It is my strength that sets me free
When thunder rumbled through the wind
I found the storm inside of me

The truth shattered all that I see
I saw my world turned cold again
It is my strength that sets me free

The waves that crashed beneath my feet
Not so fragile in the end
I found the storm inside of me

Let the rain wash away this sea
Let the warm night inside begin
It is my strength that sets me free

The elements are accepting
I need no respite from the din
I found the storm inside of me

My wariors soul escapes the
Arms I mistook for safe within
It is my strength that sets me free
I found the storm inside of me